new year, another step in my journey to self love

i decided to do an instagram challenge #rebelliousselflove this month, and the prompt for today was to do something scary… so here i am.

i was a fat kid. i am a fat lady.

there have always been people ready to tell me that this body is not acceptable. (me included)

that this arrangement of cells, molecules, atoms means i am less than. (less worthy of love. less worthy of space. less worthy of being heard.)

i do not accept that. i have struggled against this for years, and am getting to the point where i will never talk to myself like this again. and i will no longer allow others’ opinions to form how i feel about myself.

i have poly cystic ovary syndrome (pcos). what this means for me is:

extremely abnormal periods. issues with my endocrine system and insulin resistance. fat storage, especially in my mid section. hirsutism (excessive hair growth on my face, chest, nipples, back). joint inflammation. infertility. and, obvs, cysts on my ovaries (which i have had to have surgically removed previously).

additionally, i am an introvert and very empathetic. and struggle with depression and anxiety. feeling good is something i have to work at. i make a conscious effort, almost daily, to find happiness and joy.

i am kind, giving, funny, smart. and i am fat.

i am making changes for my health, but am choosing to be happy in this body, exactly as it is, at this very moment.

this body moves to music, plays with my puppies, craddles my cats, squishes my mom, takes me on adventures, rides bikes with my sister, makes delicious food. it is not my enemy. it is not your enemy. and i refuse to hide it.

glorifying obesity art from one of my fav #fatbabes
i hope you know you are worthy of being heard, existing, taking up space. and i hope you are at a place where you can choose happiness.

xo emma


3 Comments Add yours

  1. Valerie Wright says:

    Love this! I keep saying I need to love the body I’m in or I won’t love myself regardless how thin I get. But it’s SO hard. It’s an every day struggle. You inspire me with your body positivity, rocking fashion, and vulnerability. Thank. You.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Iris says:

    Love this. Love you. XO-your bestie

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Shannon says:

    Amazing post; truly eye opening and inspirational. I am proud of you, love you, empathize, and can’t wait for your next post. Thank you for being a truly phenomenal woman!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s